We are all born different. We have our own likes, dislikes, quirks and what not. What is right according to me may seem wrong to someone else & vice versa. There is no definition for right & wrong that has been set in stone.
Despite it all we tend to judge others and love pointing fingers. All of us are prone to it and have done it or keep doing everyday. I personally take the conscious effort to make my mind shut up when it starts being judgemental. We humans find extreme satisfaction in believing we are above that particular decision or situation faced by someone and like to believe that we would have handled it differently. However, what moulded him/her into the person who took those decisions is a huge, incomparable factor.
Mathew 7:1-2, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Even the scriptures have mentioned it throughout to point at the prominence & consequences of this inherent behaviour. Sometimes, to counter this tendency I put myself in the other person’s shoes and think. This helps a lot and makes me more considerate to others through my actions and reactions. However, this is not enough because sometimes no matter how hard you try, you might feel that the other person’s shoe wont fit you. Let it go. In such cases the only option is to not judge at all. Act like an uninterested third party.
After I consciously kept myself from judging for a while, it became more easy to be so on a daily basis. When you start judging others, ask yourself the following questions (not exhaustive) and think clearly.
- Is it any of my business?
- Do I know him/her and the situation very well?
- Is this purely his/her personal decision?
- Do I know all sides of the story?
- Did he/she trust me to stay by their side?
- Am I a saint to actually judge him/her?
- Am I being a good friend?
- Am I using this just for gossip?
- Would I like my own actions or words if it were directed at me?
All of us need people to whom we can confide things without any fear. So when my friends tell me how glad they are to have me around, it feels good. Hearing that would make your day good too right?
Imagine what a better world it would be if each of us stopped this habit!