It’s hard to be yourself and not hurt others. You love the people around you so much that in many situations you are torn between them and what you want. You want to do what you feel like doing, but no matter what they say about this being your life alone, it’s difficult or almost impossible to do so without creating a huge hole in their hearts.
It’s painful to survive when you are made differently or strangely but yet you are a person who deeply, passionately loves everyone. Either you have to be strangely made and be I-do-not-care-about-others kind of personality or you have to be that selfless person who is always ready to forfeit his or her whims and fancies for the loved ones, which also serves as means to satisfy your inner need to be a ‘good girl’.
When you fight, disagree and go, you lose the inner peace and confidence to take it on alone. The exhilaration or mojo for a particular wish or desire tapers off, after a chain of arguments. It’s not easy like in the movies to just walk off and do your thing.
It’s not easy being in between. It’s not easy being torn.